Coffee Over Comics: 25/06/2009

Is this an awesome panel or what? KAPOWW!!

Let’s get on with it…

• Avengers: The Initiative #25
• Captain America #600
• Dark Avengers #6
• Dark Avengers/X-Men: Utopia #1
• Dark Reign: Elektra #4
• Dark Reign: Lethal Legion #1
• Dark Reign: The Hood #2
• Dark Reign: The Sinister Spider-Man #1
• Dark Reign: Zodiac #1
• Detective Comics #854
• Final Crisis Aftermath: Ink #2
• Gotham City Sirens #1
• Green Lantern #42
• Justice League of America #34
• Justice Society of America #28
• Madame Xanadu #12
• Secret Warriors #5
• The Immortal Iron Fist #27
• The Last Days of Animal Man #2
• The New Avengers #54
• The Transformers: Spotlight – Cliffjumper

Phew! FOUR new spin-off titles just joined the Dark Reign series, and Marvel used this opportunity to rehash lesser known characters: the Grim Reaper-led (brother to Wonder Man) Lethal Legion and a new Zodiac. DR: The Sinister Spider-Man was the only one that caught my attention, on the strength of Chris Bachalo’s anti-realism drawings alone.

Urgh, the price of keeping up with crossovers! At least I’m actually looking forward to The Blackest Night.

The Batman: Reborn arc is launched full scale with a number of titles including the recently-reviewed Batman and Robin. Among all the titles involved, I picked up Detective Comics and Gotham City Sirens, just because they both have hot girls in them. Detective Comics #854 was awesomely groundbreaking and pretty (more on that later). On the other end of the spectrum, we have Gotham City Sirens, which basically can be summed down to this one panel:

Oh, yeah.

Thankfully, JLA finally wrapped up the arc where they introduce the newly-assimilated Dakotaverse characters from Milestone Media, which was quite torturous to go through. I hope I don’t have to go through the same phase with the new Red Circle characters.

The Immortal Iron Fist and Madame Xanadu continued their run of stellar writings, as always. We see a flashback of Wendell Rand while Danny was reunited with Misty Knight, who was actually pregnant with Danny’s child, much to his surprise. Having him talk family with Luke Cage was brilliant. Madame Xanadu meanwhile had a run-in with Dian Belmont (Wesley Dodd’s wife) while the flashback showed her clashing with the Inquisition.

RECOMMENDED READS:

Captain America #600: Yes, Steve Rogers might not be dead. He wasn’t shot with a normal gun, whatever that means. Read the upcoming Captain America: Reborn to find out more. Man, I’m just bummed to know Captain America is not dead! I actually liked Bucky as the new Cap: his outfit is badass, and he carries a gun! I think that Steve Rogers’ death had been diluted somehow with his revival, something I also feel for Barry Allen.

Regardless, this issue is a fitting tribute to the patriot, and worthy to commemorate the magic number of 600. We get a gorgeous origin spread by Alex Ross, seven mini-stories written by Ed Brubaker, two stories by Roger Stern and Mark Waid, a piece by Joe Simon and a reprint of a Stan Lee original from 1942. Overall, a good bargain. Which one’s my favourite? It was the Waid story, a nostalgic piece of Rogers’ items auctioned to people who actually treasured them, with the most expensive item bought by none other, Tony Stark.

Detective Comics #854: Topless Robot led an argument of the representation of the LGBT community in the comics industry—after the recent revelation of Shatterstar’s orientation—and agreed that DC is more progressive by letting the lesbian Batwoman lead Detective Comics. Not only is Batwoman the star, the backup story featured Renee Montoya, the new Question, who is also an established lesbian. This must be progress, no?

However, that’s not even the best thing about this issue. A new run carrying over from Batman’s demise has Greg Rucka writing while J.H. Williams provides one of the most striking and brave illustrations readers have ever seen lately. With no regard for conventional nine-box panelling, Williams created edgy and sharp panels, giving the illusion of kinetic and moving the story along effectively. The new Batgirl will be out soon, and we will get a number of strong heroines competing with the new Dark Knight for readers’ attention.

The Last Days of Animal Man #2: After the last issue, I thought this series will be just another run-of-the-mill story. I have been proven wrong. This issue had totally blindsided me with the completely wacky and out-of-nowhere scenes. First up, we have a Green Lantern of the future. Not only was he not a human, he’s a fucking alien WHALE! Then we found out that Mirror Master had sired a daughter, a chick wearing futuristic body suit who called herself…Prismatik! Finally, just when Buddy was beating the girl to pulp, he was stopped by the future JLA, which members included Superman, Power Girl, a modern Red Tornado, Starfire, Nightwing (??!!!) and a BLACK Flash! No, not that Black Flash. Black, as in, Afro-American.

Mind-boggling!

The Star, the Floating Sejadah and the RickRoll

Seriously The Star, shouldn’t this piece be reserved for Harian Metro, Kosmo and the other hack papers…or at least Utusan Malaysia?:

‘Floating mat’ a sign to people

By SHAHRIL CHE WAN

KUALA TERENGGANU: The Terengganu chief imam has attributed the unusual occurrences at the Crystal Mosque here as a sign of the people distancing themselves from the religion.

Ustaz Azizi Saidi Abdul Aziz described claims that a visitor had seen and photographed prayer mats floating in the mosque as “hardly phenomenal” and people should stop thinking that it was due to genies or ghosts.

Mystifying: This ‘floating mat’ phenomenon occurred at the Crystal Mosque in Kuala Terengganu.

The imam says such occurrences have been reported in Saudi Arabia.

“Such mystifying occurrences have been reported in Saudi Arabia,” he said yesterday.

A woman from Negri Sembilan who visited the mosque had photographed the phenomenon with a mobile phone camera early this month, triggering fear among locals.

Azizi Saidi said the phenomenon could be linked to the lackadaisical attitude of Muslims in the state in performing congregational prayers.

“There is nothing to panic. This is a call to Muslims not to overlook their obligation towards performing prayers together.

“There are umpteen mosques in Terengganu but there is a lack of mosque-goers.

“Some of our mosques lack people even during Friday prayers,” he added.

He said the occurrence was not “bizarre” but should be seen as a miracle that could be considered a sign from the Al-Mighty.

Shame on you Shahril Che Wan for this sensational reporting and UTTER BULLSHIT.

And Azizi Saidi Abdul Aziz, stop making up stories and looking for “signs” that are not there in the first place.

Here are some other reactions to this piece of “news”:

• Hocus Pocus at Crystal Mosque by OutSyed The Box
• You know when… by RantingsbyMM

* * * * *

In other news:

Report on Astley’s ‘death’ is just a prank

KUALA LUMPUR: It would have been considered breaking news if it was true but a local English daily here fell for a prank which reported 1980s pop sensation Rick Astley as being “found dead in a Berlin hotel room”.

The newspaper had sent an SMS alert to its subscribers of the Never Gonna Give You Up singer’s “death”. It also posted the article online. The article had since been removed.

Astley’s “death” was first reported on CNN’s user-generated site, iReport.com, which carried the byline of Liz Sodoti of the Associated Press. The stories submitted by users to the website were not edited, fact-checked or screened before they were posted. Only stories marked “On CNN” were vetted before use in CNN’s coverage.
A check at Astley’s website also came up naught on news of his death. In fact, the 43-year-old is currently on a European concert tour that will end in November.

Oh, guess which local English daily was it?

Yes, it was The Star.

They have since deleted their shame, but here’s an image of my RSS feed:

And you wonder why I don’t read mainstream news anymore.

Coffee Over Comics: 18/06/2009

Smart-ass Val Richards.

It’s time for another Coffee Over Comics session, or rather, Iced Mint Tea Over Comics! Here’s what I got from last week…

• Captain Britain and MI13 #14
• Dark Reign: Fantastic Four #4
• Dark Reign: Hawkeye #3
• Dark Reign: Mister Negative #1
• Dark Reign: Young Avengers #2
• Ex Machina #43
• Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance #2
• Hellblazer #256
• Incognito #4
• Jack of Fables #35
• Power Girl #2
• Project Superpowers vol. 2 #0
• Secret Six #10
• Superman/Batman #61
• The Mighty Avengers #26
• Tiny Titans #17
• Ultimate Spider-Man: Requiem #1

Another title joined the status quo-breaking crossover Dark Reign, and introduced the lesser known Spider-Man villain Mister Negative. I didn’t have a fucking clue who he is before this, and even after reading it, I have no fucking clue why he should have his own series. In contrast, DR: Young Avengers offered a more interesting take on the newly-introduced alternative Young Avengers and guess what, their leader is the son of…who’s that MILF anyway? Madame Hydra, no? Princess Python?! Gasp!

After a stellar start, the second issue of Power Girl chose to tell the origin of Ultra-Humanite, who declared that he literally wanted Power Girl’s body for himself. I hope they don’t do this every issue, I mean, I read this because I wanna see Pee Gee, you know. I’d have to ask Ultra-Humanite that with all the hunky superheroes around, why would he choose to inhabit the body with the most cumbersome assets?

You know those kind of stories that starts off with a bang, got to an exciting climax, and in the end all of it was actually just a dream? Well, Superman/Batman #61 IS that story, but somehow they just managed to justify it with Doctor Destiny. Bloody hell.

Now that Ultimate Spider-Man, FF and X-Men have released their final issues, it’s up to the 2-issue Requiem mini-series to tie up the loose ends. But seeing how Spidey’s Requiem is basically a flashback of one of his adventures with Iron Man, how the hell are they gonna wrap it up in the next issue?

RECOMMENDED READS:

Hellblazer #256: This issue is the first in a 3-part arc, Hooked, and it’s the kind of story that makes you condemn John Constantine as a bastard again, right after he had redeemed himself! After falling out with a nice bird (yet again) and suffering from a paranormal problem of the skin, we see Constantine with another one of his many contacts. I really don’t know where he gets all these people, and sometimes you wonder how come you’ve never seen them before, especially if they’re such chums with JC. It was there and then that we find out what he’s up to: he wants a love potion. The love potion seemed to work on the ex, but she’s not the only one whom he used the potion on. There’s also this other demon…

Secret Six #10: After the brilliant Battle for the Cowl issue last month, Catman didn’t get much appearance in this one and neither did Ragdoll. However, this issue manages to be at the same time disturbing and fascinating. We see the lesbian Scandal comforting Bane (which had been sort of a caretaker of Scandal lately) after one of his Venom-withdrawal nightmares by sharing a bed with him. It’s a wonderful moment where we see the tenderness between two characters that share this weird platonic relationship. Another precious and unlikely scene occurred right before the end, where after the unscrupulous Deadshot shot an innocent while fulfilling a job, we witness Scandal and the supposedly tough Bane getting terribly upset (and by the look in his face, Catman as well) over the unnecessary murder. The line between heroes and villains has been made more blurry by this team of unlikely colleagues, and don’t be surprised now that a lot of people are actually LOVING them.

Tiny Titans #17: Tiny Titans is undeniably a great piece of work, behind all the kindergarten illustration and its target audience. It’s a fine piece of tribute to the DC Universe which also works as a parody. In this issue, we see Robin, Cyborg and Beast Boy scratching their head in Battle of the Cow, until Starfire and Bumblebee (nope, not that one) solved it in just one panel. Then we have Robin’s birthday (no clowns, of course) and we see him getting presents in the form of the different costumes of Nightwing (old and new), Earth-2’s Robin, Tim Drake, The Dark Knight Return’s girl Robin and even the Robin from Batman and Robin! For the kids, these scenarios are all fun, but for the adults, they are damn hilarious.

He’s Out of My Life

don't stop till you get enough, MJ

Michael Joseph Jackson (29 August 1958 – 25 June 2009). R.I.P.

I woke up earlier this morning after a disturbing nightmare, only to be faced with a worst news: Michael Jackson has been rushed to the hospital for cardiac arrest and he was not breathing. After waiting for more than hour listening to conflicted accounts and reports online, the fact remained: The King of Pop is gone.

Frankly, I don’t know why I was so affected by this news, I am terribly upset, more than I’ve cared about any other celebrity deaths before. Maybe just like millions of others grieving today, we all grew up with his songs, and one way or another were touched by the magic of his music.

I can only imagine how my girl Puteri is feeling today, she is a really big fan and it was her who made me rediscover MJ. In a way, MJ formed a connection between us, another reason why I was so affected. I know she wanted to see him live in concert one day—me too—but it seems our dreams will never come true. It’s the jeopardy of being into the oldies: all the artists you admire are already dead or on their way there.

The photo above is how I choose to remember him as. Questlove of The Roots said, and I agree with him:

I just hope that he will get due justice in all the press memorials and whatnot. I know he was mired in controversy the last decade of his life but I think it’s time we let him rest in peace and learn to separate the ART and the ARTIST. That is the MJ I will forever remember. Elvis got revisionist media treatment. I expect the friggin same for my hero.

Regardless of his eccentricities and wrong moves, at the peak of his career, the man was the biggest artist in history. I think he still is, and he earned that respect. It’s just like that David Chappelle sketch, no matter what the accusations are, HE MADE THRILLER, MAN.

THRILLER. Once the best-selling album in the world, it was 100% made out of hits.

I don’t care if he supposedly converted to Muslim or whatnot. That fact is irrelevant. He is in a better place now, away from the discerning eyes of the press and public.

An Almost Profanity-Laced Article on “Revenge of The Fallen”

“JUVENILE”.

That will be my one-word summary of how Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was. It’s not enough if you just want to watch giant robots brawling, apparently you must also let yourself subjected to godawful humour, gratuitous perving and a senseless story to get the most out of this film.

I tweeted my initial review, now it’s time for an in-depth spoiler-full dissection. Wait, no, I won’t. There are already two of the most AWESOME REVIEWS about it already.

So I’m just gonna go for an incoherent and almost profanity-laced rant.

Autobots

The new Autobots suffered the most from character development. Sideswipe had the opportunity to be the ninja of the group, but we only get to see him in action with those shiny blades once in the beginning. Am I the only one who looked at those double blades and wheel legs and remembered this?

Arcee is now a disembodied presence controlling 3 bikes, who got killed as fast as Bay could. I don’t get why there had to be THREE bikes in the first place, but at least in the comics they used to be different Autobots (the blue one was called Chromia). Jolt was only in because GM wanted to promote Chevy Volt, which is a shame, because he had so much potential. You can never go wrong with taser hands!

Skids and Mudflaps looked like retarded hillbillies that act like ghetto brothers. Everybody with a sane mind knows how much we don’t need another Jar Jar Binks, but I guess kids love these moronic heroes, huh? After all, every kid aspire to be morons. I won’t elaborate much on the racial undertones, but I’d say here that I love them more when they were that clunky ice cream truck.

Ironhide and Ratchet? Meh, nothing much. They’re only here because they were in the first one. Bumblebee! I felt like crying when I saw him crying, not because I can relate to him, but because I couldn’t bear seeing him lowered down to be the emo and clingy sidekick to Sam.

Optimus Prime however, is the reason why you SHOULD watch this movie. He’s the quintessential hero, not just the leader and war general, but this time the super-operative, the spear-point of Autobot strike force. I remembered my jaw dropping when I saw him transform in the first movie, and the sight is still as magnificent this time.

Decepticons

Megatron and Starscream were fucking BORING. There, I’ve said it. The Fallen looks like a rejected Giger sculpture that would serve better as Jonathan Davis’ mic-stand. Grindor was a Blackout knock-off—did he have to choose the SAME form?

Sideways appeared for a few seconds before getting killed. How much did Audi pay for that, actually?

Scorponok: see Ironhide and Ratchet.

I FUCKING hate The Doctor. Actually, I hate SMALL TRANSFORMERS. Like, what the fuck, man? Transformers = BIG ROBOTS. That includes you too, Wheelie. And those who laughed your ass off when Wheelie was leg-humping Mikaela, I fucking hate you all as well.

Soundwave is probably my favourite Decepticon in this film. Sure, he looked stupid in the satellite form (I think that’s his only form), like a limbless paraplegic floating in the darkness of space, but his form at least serve some purpose. Launching Ravage as a missile is as close as we can get to cassette tapes.

Devastator, in one word, was AWESOME. You almost certainly can never go wrong with such scale, but it was disappointing that he wasn’t utilised more. He was sucking some sand, then climbing the pyramid like bloody King Kong, then boom! One railgun attack and there he goes. Adding to that, I don’t know what the fucking justification is for having Demolishor as a different, unicycle version of Scavenger, or the multiple clones of Rampage, Long Haul and Mixmaster. I’ll say this: Devastator was cool, his components (Mixmaster, Scavenger, Long Haul, Rampage, Scrapper, Hightower and Overload) are all cool, their individual robot modes was cool…How could you fuck that up, man?

AND THE FUCKING BALLS ON DEVASTATOR! Very mature, Bay. WHAT THE FUUUUCCCCKKKK

Old geezer Jetfire was amusing, I can almost relate to the crankiness, parachute-farts and all. The concept of Optimus Prime combining with him was definitely interesting (just like Powerlinxing in Armada), sadly, Jetfire had to die while Prime used his spare parts like he just found it in the recycle bin.

It was very brave of the writers to utilise the doomed Pretender concept, but I think it’s just another excuse for having a girl robot, ala-Cameron from Sarah Connor Chronicles. The ride was fun while it lasted, which was right until the part where a tentacle comes out of her bum, coming straight after the upskirt panty shot.

I have never complained when they changed Optimus from a Freightliner to a Peterbilt, but can someone tell me why the fuck do they have to mess with something sweet like this:

and change it into THIS TURD?

Coffee Over Comics: 01/06/2009

Here’s what I got from last week…

• Agents of Atlas #6
• Astro City: The Dark Age, Book 3 #2
• Batman and Robin #1
• Captain Britain and MI13 Annual #1
• Dark Avengers #5
• Final Crisis Aftermath: Run! #2
• House of Mystery #14
• Irredeemable #3
• New Avengers: The Reunion #4
• Seaguy: Slaves of Mickey Eye #3
• The Authority v4 #11
• The Boys #31
• The Mighty Avengers #25
• The New Avengers: Reunion #4
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – Official Movie Adaptation #3
• Ultimate Spider-Man #133
• Ultimatum #4

Last week was quite ho-hum, and everything seemed to pale in comparison to the most awaited series this month, which is the awesome Batman and Robin. Everyone had foam in their mouths declaring their love for it, and I can confirm that it is super awesome. Make it ultra-awesome! But we’ll go into that later.

Things were a bit crazy in The Mighty Avengers where Hank Pym was planning to whoop Reed Richards’ ass in an almost maniacal fervour. “It’s on, bitch,” said Hank. Frankly, I won’t mind more of that hilarious catfight in comics.

Oh, Namor had a kiss with his cousin Namora in Agents of Atlas. But somehow they’re not really blood-related through some twist or whatever. Still…Namor really needed to get some, he has always been really grumpy.

The Reunion is done, but I won’t see anyone crying over it. Seaguy on the other hand…had been a brilliant surreal ride, and with three issues for each arc, it was too short. But with the mindfuck the series present every other issue, I’m not sure our brains can sustain more than three.

I’m not too sure that Jeph Loeb have heard our plea for not fucking up the Ultimate Universe anymore, but the #4 is probably the best Ultimatum yet. Which means it is still crappy, but it’s certainly readable. Somebody had to die, I think they have this one death quota per issue, and this time it’s Doctor Strange. Man, he is really Marvel’s victim of the year.

RECOMMENDED READS:

Batman and Robin #1: Huzzah! Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely have finally done with Batman what they had done to Superman through All-Star—presenting a fresh new take full with absurdity and action. The dynamic between Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne (come on, that is SO NOT a spoiler) is lovable. Dick is the insecure leader, growing into Bruce’s shoes while mentoring the bratty and insufferable Damian. They both have their own quirks that you can easily know that this is no Bruce and Tim. I don’t know if Quitely did it intentionally, but you can see from Batman’s stance and posture that it’s not Bruce: his chest wasn’t as out, his shoulders a bit slouched. Damian meanwhile, called Alfred “Pennyworth”. That snotty brat. This is a MUST READ.

Captain Britain and MI13 Annual #1: This annual focused on Meggan, Captain Britain’s wife which was lost in hell back in House of M. The first half showed her coping with her situation, and raising an army in hell with her happy memories. It’s the second half drawn by Adrian Alphona that’s the best though: where else can you find superheroes playing cricket? I just can’t resist when superheroes do normal stuff, and this one is just too good. You can see Blade being the token American, all confused, in his baseball shirt. Compare him to Faiza, who is just a cricket nut (well, she is Pakistani). The final panels where Brian contemplates whether to give Faiza an easy break to increase her confidence, or to play tough love, is just an example on how good Paul Cornell’s writing is.

Final Crisis Aftermath: Run! #2: I think Matthew Sturges is having tremendous fun writing Human Flame as such a bastard. After starting the issue with throwing three corgis out the window, HF tried to steal Heat Wave’s flame gun right under his nose. He was then introduced to a ludicrous supervillain group by Condiment King, who spoke lines like “Mayo I intercede on the gentleman’s behalf” and “I’m so thrilled you mustard up the courage”. Crazy dude. The group was even worse, with members like bionic athlete Sportsmaster, Mr. Polka-Dot, spider-like Brown Recluse, Miss Army Knife of many attachments, master of disguise Phoney Baloney, N-Emy that only speaks words starting with letter ‘N’ and Seductress, the um, “anatomically astonishing vixen”. Yeah. All is well when Human Flame is given a bionic makeover, with a new body with built-in flamethrowers…or is it not?

Ultimate Spider-Man #133: This is a silent issue.