The 20 Nerd Commandments


Topless Robot presented a post yesterday detailing the twenty nerd commandments, that all nerds “should genuinely live by”.

Not really a surprise then, when I found out that I have already lived by most of them. FML.

Here I’m going to list all the commandments, and how I compare to them (in italics):

1) Thou must experience as many nerdy properties as possible throughout your youth (nerdy parents must assist with this). By the age of 20, you must have chosen at least two sides of the following: Star Wars or Star Trek, Kirk or Picard, Marvel or DC, Mac or PC, Trukk or Munkey, Baker or Tennant, and Joel or Mike. If these topics come up, you must argue your choice past all reasonableness.
I have SIX: Star Wars, Picard, DC, PC, Trukk and Tennant.

2) Thou must always recognize your first exposure to a nerdy property was the best possible incarnation of that property. Likewise, thou must always find new incarnations, sequels, spin-offs, rip-offs, and media inspired these properties to be crappier than your prized original.
Yup.

3) Thou must revere the Nerd Girl, because she is as rare as the diamond and just as valuable. Thou shouldst not stark her just because she’s the only girl in your nerd circle, and if/when she turns down your advances, you will not spurn her because that’s just shitty. And Nerd Girls, thou must be careful, for thy power is great — and can be used for both good and ill.
Thank heavens for Puteri:
pu3-nerd

4) Thou must try to convince your significant other to name the child after a character of nerdy importance. If thou are cut from the cloth of the nerd tribe and have managed to breed, , and bringeth into the world the Lando’s, the Anakin’s, the Kal-Els.
He he he. Unfortunately, I want my kid with a name that starts with ‘z’. Haven’t found an awesome character that starts with ‘z’ so far. [Edit: Oh wait, there's Zaphod! Woohoo]

5) All nerds must be able to sketch, from memory, the basic outlines of the Millennium Falcon, USS Enterprise (NCC-1701), and the TARDIS.
Huzzah:
sketches

6) Thou shalt not question who shot first.
It’s Han. Period.

7) Thou shalt acknowledge that Batman beats everyone, ever, anywhere at fighting. That’s right, he beats everybody. Even Optimus Prime. Even Darth Vader. Even Chuck Norris. He’d find a way. He’s the goddamn Batman.
Exactly. He’s the goddamn Batman!

8) Thou shalt be prepared to survive the zombie apocalypse, and teach thy children similarly.
Ready.

9) Thou shalt not forget to honor and give thanks to the Dice Gods for your triumphs and victories.
Mmmm, not applicable. I don’t play D&D. (Would love to learn, though)

10) If two nerds ever find themselves holding cylindrical objects of at least 9 inches in length they must immediately make lightsaber ignition noises and face each other down in mortal combat.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, lightsaber duel with my padawan on the Harbour Bridge [video]:

11) Shouldst thou hear a man proclaim, “Now you know,” for whatever reason, then thou must reply in your most triumphant voice, “And knowing is half the battle!” Let he who should offend against this law be cast out from the company of his worthier fellows and be made subject to aspersions made ‘gainst his improper rearing and the cuckolding whore that did sire him and perform the rearing.
Ah, I don’t really watch G.I. Joe, there you go.

12) When searching for something to watch on television you must watch the geek movie you come across, even if you have said movie in your collection. If anyone asks, “Why don’t you just watch the one you own?” stare at them like an idiot and explain, “That is not the point.”
Nope, I’d rather watch something I haven’t seen.

13) In order to assure procreation of the nerd species, thou shalt not utter nerdy quotes during sex.
I haven’t…have I?

14) Thy first crush must be upon an cartoon character.
Sara, Yellow Flash from Choushinsei Flashman:

15) Thou must not be the nerdiest person in the room, the one nerd that even the other nerds are scared to be around. If your obsession causes you to lose a job, significant other, or cause harm to yourself, GET SOME FUCKING HELP.
So far, so good.

16) Thou must learn how to do to the Vulcan hand gesture, whether thou likes Star Trek or not.
vulcan

17) Thou shalt be required to attend at least one nerd convention (videogames, anime, comics, etc.) during thy lifetime.
Not yet. =( No good conventions here in KL.

18) There shall be no viewing of fansubs by any self-described otaku/anime fan who can afford to purchase the said material (exceptions: viewing at conventions or titles that have no chance of being released stateside).
Ahahahaha. I LOVE fansubs. Suck it.

19) All nerds, when purchasing something in a store, must never pick up the first item in the front, because the item in front has almost certainly been touched by unclean hands, and thus its condition is less mint, the grade must pleasing to the nerd gods.
OMG it is so true, it’s scary.

20) Thou must obey the Law of the Golden Mean.
Yup, I’m quite obsessed with this concept.

The article ends with a parable called The Parable of the Nerd Bastard and the Fox, which really, should be read by all self-confessed geeks & nerds. The parable after the jump (it’s quite long):

Read more

2010
01/28
CATEGORY
geek
humour
TAGS




1 comment

A Guide to Writing Good on Twitter

0.0 Intro

"Tweet, or tweet not. There is no try". (Yoda Twitter by ApeLad)

Twitter syntax, just like any language, is organic. It is bound to evolve—indeed it has—as more people use it and add their vernacular quirks to it. On the flip side though, for every language, there is a set of grammar to make sure that different people can communicate using a uniform set of rules.

After tremendous response for A Guide to Having Fun on Twitter, I aim to make a rough grammar-book for Twitter. This is not a definitive guide, nor is there a definitive syntax for tweeting. What I’m presenting here are the norms: good and acceptable tweeting practices, learnt through my experience and observance of other professional Twitter users (tweeters).

1.0 Tweets

It doesn’t really matter what you tweet about, but it is good manners to:

  1. Shorten your links.
  2. Tweet less than 140-characters if you wish to be retweeted (will be discussed later).

Try to use symbols or short phrases to make your tweets concise. Take it as a writing practice.

2.0 Mentions

By using the @[username] syntax in a tweet, you are mentioning that person, and your tweet will show up in his mention-timeline:

I just found an article by @sheeradjafar on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu

This is useful in including him in a conversation, or to direct your followers to his Twitter page (where they then can follow him).

Mentions will not work without the alias sign “@”.

3.0 Replies

Replies are preceded with @[username] of the person you wish to reply to. Most Twitter clients insert it automatically when you hit the “reply” button.

Say, if I want to send the tweet above to @hawayou:

@hawayou I just found an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu

3.1 Problems in Replying

Problems might occur when you want to tweet (but not reply) with a username in the beginning of the tweet:

@sheeradjafar has just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu

The original tweet  means that “Sheeradjafar has just written an article…”, however, it will turn out as a reply to Sheeradjafar with the message “has just written an article…”. As a consequence, some people who follow you, but do not follow @sheeradjafar, will not receive this particular tweet.

A common way to fix this problem is to simply rephrase your tweet so the username is not in the front (perhaps by using slashtags; will be discussed later).

3.2 Replying to more than one person

Simply put all the usernames to be replied to in front:

@hawayou @bukhariramli I just found an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu

Most of the time, it is acceptable to reply as a tweet (directed to all your followers), if you’re replying to the public or a lot of people and there is not enough space to include everybody.

3.3 DO NOT:

  1. Tweet to all followers to reply to just one person, even after affixing his username at the end of your tweet. Reply by putting that person’s username in front. Unless you’re CC-ing (will be discussed later).
  2. Reply by RT-ing. This is a very bad practice. (will also be discussed later).

4.0 Re-Tweeting (RT)

Retweet by prefixing RT @[username] [colon] to your tweet. This is also now mostly automatically done by the client:

(1) Original tweet by @sheeradjafar:

I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu

(2) @hawayou retweeting the tweet above:

RT @sheeradjafar: I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu

If you wish for people to help you RT your tweet (for a cause etc), do affix a “Pls RT” at the end. More than one experiments have proven that people are more likely to help you RT if you just ask nicely.

4.1 Retweeting a retweet

You can do this by nesting the RT-syntax. For example, if I’m RTing the tweet above (2) by @hawayou:

RT @hawayou: RT @sheeradjafar: I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu

If you’d like to retweet something which has already been retweeted two-levels deep, such as the one above, it is acceptable to drop the “RT”s, so it becomes as such:

RT @zurairi @hawayou @sheeradjafar: I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu

The purpose of RT-ing is to share a tweet, and at the same time give credit to the original tweeter.

The new-style RT has made this obsolete, since only the 1st tweeter will be credited.

4.2 Adding commentary in RT

This is only possible in the old-style RT.

Leave your commentary before the RT:

Those look yummy! RT @sheeradjafar: I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu

4.3 DO NOT:

Do not leave your commentary after the RT, as such:

  1. RT @sheeradjafar: I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu // Those look yummy!
  2. RT @sheeradjafar: I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu << Those look yummy!
  3. RT @sheeradjafar: I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu >> Those look yummy!
  4. RT @sheeradjafar: I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu -> Those look yummy!
  5. RT @sheeradjafar: I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu –Those look yummy!
  6. RT @sheeradjafar: I’ve just written an article on macarons: http://bit.ly/6V5oBu (Those look yummy!)

The reason why it is important to commentate before the RT is so your followers will know who said which. Are the commentaries above by me, or was it by @sheeradjafar?

If you RT by appending, it might be misconstrued as said by the person you RTed, which will totally change the meaning of the original tweeter, and/or his intention.

Besides, there is no standard way to append commentary, as we have demonstrated above.

Read more

2010
01/26
CATEGORY
guide
internet
TAGS




3 comments

Why Confiding in Guy Friends After a Break-up Sucks for Girls


Ok, some background: fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu is the name of an amusing thread in the community-sharing site reddit. In this thread, people share RAGE comics, which typically end with a panel of someone shouting “FFFFFUUUUUUUU-” in extreme rage.

Submissions in this thread sometimes carry over to other submissions, and these past few days saw some hilarious submissions on the topic of “guy friends”.

It all started with this comic of a girl after a break-up:

I found it such a hoot since it’s such a common story: a girl complaining that the moment she breaks up, she will find her guy friends—and sometimes, the friends of her ex—suddenly hanging around her, circling like predators in for the kill.

The second submission however, is my favourite since it is so relatable, which tells the above story from a guy’s point of view:

Seriously, some girls just have issues.

They just seem incapable of letting people love them, and they waste years after years involving themselves with jerks who treat them like shit.

What gives?

The final submission offers the solution on the first problem:

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

While it’s not completely true…there are some guys…ok, it’s mostly true.

But don’t let that put you off, girls. Some guys are awesome friends, and they wouldn’t mind listening to you ramble. They will also respect you, and give you space, knowing that you’re not currently in the mood for a relationship.

They might probably really fancy you though, so if they are doing such a great job concealing it from yourself, it’s a good idea to not take them for granted.

Anyone else go through these situations often?

2010
01/17
CATEGORY
humour
love
TAGS




2 comments

On 1Malaysia Clinics and Their Lack of Doctors (and Why It Shouldn’t Matter Much)


dscn1886c

When Health Minister, Datuk Seri Liow Tiong Lai announced that the 1Malaysia clinics will go on operating without doctors, it stirred up a bit of commotion among Malaysians online. For example, fellow blogger Niki Cheong in his article 1Malaysia Clinic has no doctors? commented:

If I still need to go to a hospital or polyclinic, why would I go to the 1Malaysia clinic in the first place? And who exactly are these health assistants and how much will they be able to help me if they are not doctors?

Are these health assistants qualified (they claim to have at least five years experience, but does this legally hold?) to even treat a patient? What about prescription of medication etc?

Knowing the logic behind this lack of doctors in clinics—me and my doctor sweetheart talk about this sort of thing often—I tried explaining the situation on Twitter. However, I feel an urge to give more information out, since some people take it as an opportunity to bash the government and the 1Malaysia concept.

Perhaps a disclaimer: I have no great love for the government and 1Malaysia, but I think it is ridiculous to ridicule (ha!) this 1Malaysia clinic concept without at least some background knowledge.

So, allow me to pass some information on the Malaysian public medical system—facts courtesy of Dr Puteri Zatil Aqmar—as roughly as I can in laymen terms.

Malaysian Public Healthcare System

In Malaysia, the public healthcare outlets belong in a hierarchy that goes like this:

HOSPITAL
(secondary care)
|
_______|_______
|                              |
KLINIK KESIHATAN     KLINIK DESA
(primary care)

Hospitals can be found in cities, with some big hospitals offering specialists in different fields. Klinik Kesihatan are usually situated in towns and in each district, while Klinik Desa are in rural areas and small kampungs.

In this hierarchy, the clinics will defer to the hospitals. Therefore, clinics will deal with simpler and less serious cases, while in hospitals, the cases you deal with become more specific and chronic. Patients who need to be warded, which is classed secondary care, will be handled by hospitals.

In a concept called triage, patients are sorted according to their priority. Therefore, one can make sure that those with minor injuries and illnesses do not need to crowd the emergency department (ED), and more room will be available for serious cases.

The same goes for the specialists in hospitals, it is a waste for them to spend their time on minor cases when their expertise can be used on bigger cases. Therefore, you only need to see doctors in Klinik Kesihatan for simple cases, and if need be, you will be referred to the hospitals.

Klinik Desa are usually situated in rural areas, to benefit those who are far away from other institutions. They are staffed by veteran nurses called Jururawat Desa (JD), and a doctor will make rounds to the Klinik Desa every few days. Therefore, Klinik Desa are run by the JDs, not doctors. Read more

2010
01/16
CATEGORY
Malaysia
health
TAGS




4 comments

I Would Like to Propose a Toast… (Part 1)


I have blogged for close to 6 years…or is it 7 years now? Ah fuck it, I don’t think it really matters. From time to time, I always take some time off from blogging to rekindle my passion for writing, and rejuvenate myself with positive vibes.

At times, writing can become such a chore, and at other times you just feel that your writings are insignificant among other wonderful works out there. It is during these times that I usually take a break, after which those feelings disappear, leaving me with sharper wit and abundant confidence.

Just like countless other bloggers (yes, I know you’re one of them), I believe I am guilty this moment for that period where scant updates appear, and when they do, they come in short. However, unlike those other periods where I take a break, this time it is a bit different.

You see, currently, I am in a prioritising dilemma.

Coffee Conversations

Last year, on the 25th of October, Coffee Conversations turned two.

I had planned an anniversary post just like in 2008, which came with its own Blog Awards. Astute readers would notice that no such celebration happened in October, and still has not happen up until now—a fact that is pointed out to me by my fellow conspirator, a certain Hawa Othman, every other fortnight.

This was partly due to a flurry of events that occurred at that point of time, and as I postponed the celebration month by month, it just turned less relevant and less exciting to write about.

I plan to rectify this today with this post.

So what have we been up to in the last 18 months or so?

First of all, I returned to Malaysia from Sydney, and moved back in relocated myself to Putrajaya. It was a time of political uncertainty—Anwar Ibrahim was promising the change of regime in Malaysia, and quite frankly, I was excited for the prospect of a new Malaysia. Well, here I am, more than a year later, and the status quo is pretty much the same.

Returning home though, spurred me to write more on socio-political issues. I admit that I wasn’t much a political enthusiast back in Sydney, but being here where so many affronts to liberty and freedom is being touted right in front of my eyes, I felt the need to tell these stories and assert my opinions of them.

When we started, I used to write mostly about abstract concepts, and science issues that excite me. Lately, I’ve started to cover geek culture more, especially comics. I wrote a weekly column of comics review called Coffee Over Comics hoping that some newspaper or magazine will hire me for their weekly columns. (They still haven’t, haha.)

I managed to write thirteen issues of that column before deciding that the process of reviewing makes reading comics not that fun any more. On average, I read around 20 issues of comics every week, and to review weekly means I have to cram reading them all in one or two days, before spending some time analysing them. I’d still be interested though to write weekly comics reviews for any publication, so do contact me.

Along the year, Coffee Conversations have been featured twice in The Edge’s website, one for the critique of PAS’ muktamar and the other on the usage of Twitter. We were also featured in Malaysiakini, Google Blogs and joined the joint-statement by Sisters in Islam. The biggest feature so far is on the front page of WordPress.com, and all these thankfully managed to bring a lot of traffic to the blog.

I was flattered to be nominated for Best Geek Blog / Best Hidden Gem Blog award in the Nuffnang Asia-Pacific Blog Awards 2009, thanks to a campaign by Hawa Othman & Puteri Zatil Aqmar. In the end though, I didn’t get to be shortlisted, and this only added to my disenchantment with the Malaysian blogging community.

At that time, I was dismayed that apart from politics, foodie and fashion blogs, the majority of recognised Malaysian blogs are personality-driven. They are blogs of celebrities who are celebrities because they blog. These blogs, in my opinion, offer nothing to the public than the juicy details of their celebrity lives. We need more informative blogs.

I thought that in order for me to capture the public’s attention and garner an audience is to target a specific market, rather than dipping my toes in different pools. So began my experimentation to write for blogs that concentrate on just one topic.

My first try was with Nothing Geek (www.nothinggeek.com, the domain no longer operates), a magazine-type site that covers geek culture. It was a joint-operation with Hawa Othman who came up with the idea, and Sheera Djafar, and the three of us realised that we just did not have the time for that kind of operation back then.

I tried to expand on the operation solo, with cakerawala, yet another blog that covers science, technology and geek culture news. My emphasis was on aggregation, with frequent short posts. This idea too, fizzled after I realised that the scope was too big to handle alone.

They say the third time’s the charm. That was when Unscientific Malaysia came to being.

(To be continued)

2010
01/16
CATEGORY
personal
rants
TAGS



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